Zach @ The DSTRKT

 

The Amazing Masaya Volcano in Nicaragua

The "9" Lepers by SP Nicaragua Kids

Nanny's Visit, January 2013

Alex's Poem

“Paying Attention”

“This is the first, wildest, and wisest thing I know, that the soul exists, and that it is built entirely out of attention.” - Mary Oliver

Last summer when I went to a writing retreat

in Santa Fe

We were encouraged

as artists, to love the world

By paying attention, first step

Into the truth of the other,

How lovely it all sounded

amidst the flat blue sky

and pillowed adobe

spilling for miles out from the soul

But back in the gray graffiti sprawl

the bright reckless chaos

of this place I love,

Oakland,

I'm finding the act

Of paying attention is

Costly, which is why I never did

Open shutter to loneliness curled

Into hatred, rejection sprouted

Into reckless lashings, bashed windows, stolen

Car rims and the stolen souls who

Stole them, a world limping and my ability

To do something.

*

I'm not so sure I want to

pay attention

because attending to means

stopping

and stopping means seeing

and seeing requires a

choice--

love, or spurn.

The French mystic Simone Weil said

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”

No, I'm not so sure I want to pay attention--

Pay, because it will

Cost me.

It will cost me to see

the girls on International every night

in their fishnets,

to look them in the eyes,

to gain and lose a sister in one heartbeat.

It will cost me to love

the one next door

and weep for his child,

his heartbreak, his despair,

his addiction, his kindness.

It will cost me to

bless those that persecute

pray for the one that

cat-called me,

smashed my window,

mugged my friend,

abused public power,

shot that man,

didn’t pay my neighbor for his day’s labor,

took money from our schools.

It will cost me to attend

to the soul of the one who still takes.

Then again, perhaps,

I can pay attention

To the One who paid

To attend to me

(“While we were yet sinners”)

And the One who is always

Paying attention.

The Seller of Fields,

the Seeker of Pearls,

He attends to you still

in the Secret place.

*

but when I pay, what do I gain?

What did Christ purchase with his attention?

among other things

vast and theological,

the love of the adulteress,

the devotion of the forgiven,

the freedom of those trapped in shame,

eyes for the blind,

ears for the deaf,

life for the girl who was dead.

the hearts of men

and the Spirit indwelling,

a vision of the soul

in the image of God.

in a world where life is fleeting, by seeing

we secure the eternal.

Paying attention

is not just giving, it is giving yourself.

That’s why the poor can be so generous -

They don’t have the excuse of money.

*

But it doesn't stop in Oakland,

or San Jose

it doesn’t stop with “ministry” or at the gate of any program

it begins with our humanity

and ends in our eternity.

Jesus said He is the gate,

the shepherd who laid himself down in the gap

to keep the wolves out of the pen

When we enter the gate, we enter

His watch

fullness of life is fullness of attention

let your cup overflow

*

So pay attention, Oakland,

Pay attention, San Jose,

Pay attention, sons and daughters

of God

God,

in whom we live and move and have our being,

who gave you eyes to see,

ears to hear,

He does not live in temples built by human hands

So, tell me, what temples remain?

Attend to those.

Minister in the holy place

Where His Spirit dwells

And give yourself wholly

to His Attention.

Settling in with Four

Zach at 2 days old


Zach's birthday 2/26/2010

We are starting to settle in with our four beautiful kids. Zach is doing great--almost 3 months old and getting big. He brightens each day for all of us with his adorable smiles.

Family Treasures

our big boy

"look at me!"

our little lady

more in love after 10+ years

Our Three Angels

According to Tasha, Dre says "Hallelujah for my brother and sister!"